How to ask for help
Ask for help by writing down the tasks, choosing one that someone else could do, and asking a specific person directly: could you take Mom to her Tuesday appointment this month? Specific asks are easier to say yes to. Accept offers of help when they come, and give people concrete jobs.
You are juggling work and a parent's appointments and running on empty.
Why it matters: Caregivers and people who look capable are the ones who skip it most.
Steps
- List everything on your plate this week.
- Mark the tasks only you can do, and the ones someone else could.
- Pick one person and one task.
- Ask directly and specifically, with a day and time.
- Keep a short list of jobs ready for when someone says let me know if you need anything.
- Say thank you and let them do it their way.
- If you are a caregiver, ask your local area agency on aging or a social worker about support services.
Common mistakes
- Waiting until you are completely overwhelmed.
- Asking vaguely: can anyone help sometime?
- Turning down offers to seem capable.
Teach this to someone
A one page sheet for showing a friend, a teenager or a parent: what to say, what to show, and one question to check it landed.
Teach: How to ask for help
What to say
Ask for help by writing down the tasks, choosing one that someone else could do, and asking a specific person directly: could you take Mom to her Tuesday appointment this month? Specific asks are easier to say yes to. Accept offers of help when they come, and give people concrete jobs.
What to show
- List everything on your plate this week.
- Mark the tasks only you can do, and the ones someone else could.
- Pick one person and one task.
- Ask directly and specifically, with a day and time.
- Keep a short list of jobs ready for when someone says let me know if you need anything.
- Say thank you and let them do it their way.
- If you are a caregiver, ask your local area agency on aging or a social worker about support services.
Check question
Which request is easier to say yes to?
Answer: Could you take her to the Tuesday appointment this month?. A clear task and time is simple to agree to.
Your checklist
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Quick quiz
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Related skills
Sources
This skill is general practice and draws on no single published source.
Written in our own words from the sources above. It is general information, not advice for your situation; where a professional, your doctor or your lease says something different, follow them.
Last reviewed . First published .